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Marriage Counselling solves problems in marriage and adds some interesting benefits A bonded marital relationship results in 50% less heart attacks. Accountability reduces problems of marital abuse, Restoring a bonded love connection reduces the need for overeating reducing weight contral problems, Reducing power conflicts lessons alcohol (alcoholism) and drug abuse. Getting past the relationship patterns of anger and withdrawal by learning to listen and connect supportively with one another. Stopping patterns of self-righteousness - having to be right - helps self-esteem. De-escalating the alienation stops the drift to silent divorce Avoiding a legal divorce reduces grief, loneliness, sense of failure, economic hardship, and being judged and shunned by others. Dealing with problems that escalate to rage and assault means avoiding court, lawyers, and even jail time.
Marriage counselling to restore love, connection and bonding
I have interviewed a lot of couples.  I find that couples always give the love connection and bonding as their top priority.  Research on Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy tells us that couples who establish a safe marital connection are able to maintain that commection in the face of major stress.  Bonded intimate couples are able to creatively attack the other problems in life together.  They don't need to be taught problem solving skills to solve their problems.  They don't need to have sex therapy to achieve a great love life.   So couples who choose to focus on their love connection, and almost all do, are making an extremely wise choice. Therefore, as your family therapist, couple counselor, relationship coach or premarital counsellor, I will bring  the following to the table: A deliberate focus on secure, safe connection, positive couple bonding, renewal of love feelings. A high level of skill in 'play reading' - understanding couple relationship patterns. "White Board Work" - the ability to diagram personality and relationship patterns. A key skill for the defusing conflicts. A key skill that brings conflict clarity and resolution.  A focus on solving problems not assigning blame. Essential optimism and a commitment to finding solutions and making things work. A simple way to measure the level of total life stress (Satisfaction vs Frustration) for each member of the couple or family. Proven ability to help a couple build a family mission statement. And in the background, the ability to provides Life Transformation Therapy for individual issues which are often key to a marital breakthrough:  broken heart, childhood sexual or emotional abuse, previous relationship abuse, patterns of rage. I Have a Confession To Make ... It Wasn’t ALWAYS This Easy to solve problems in your marriage  Years of living make one wiser.  Years in a spiritual journey sharpen one's discernment.  Years mastering the methods of others lead me to innovate some of my own.  I have become more relaxed with myself and with others.  I am closer to and more comfortable with my own emotions.  I have seen God bring healing to hearts and minds too many times.  I am still challenged but never in defeat.  I have seen too many couples come out winners!  You can be a winning couple too! Even the Experts Admit .. This is the Best Way to solve problems in your marriage ... Period! I invited two professionals with experience with other methods of solving marriage problems.  They found it remarkable that I  was able to focus in on key problem areas and deal key issues quickly and easily.  See Experts Agree. George provides a "non-threatening environment" "The non-threatening environment enabled us to open our hearts and minds to see our situation in a more postive way. George's professionalism, and acute awareness of communication is positively unique. We highly recommend George for anyone who is seeking purpose, direction, and solution for life situations." Vern and Mary of North Carolina. "Exceeded my expectations" "I have received a significant amount of emotional and spiritual freedom. The benefits of  marriage counselling far exceeded my expectations. George's approach clarified a lot as well as giving me new understanding of my wife. I think I was able to open up for her - make myself vulnerable." Brian D. "I felt cared for and listening to" "My beliefs and values were respected. Even when I reacted once it was allowed. I didn't hold back. I felt cared for and listened to. I gained emotional freedom." Marge D. "Thank God for George" "I always thank God for George and how he has helped me and my family.  He is able to lead me through my confusion and distractions to an encounter with the Living God in whom there is abundant life and healing!  Praise God!" Wendy M. Sessions with George: Sessions with George are 90 minutes. Fees are $150 per session.  Office is suite #125,  1454 Dundas St. East (near Dixie Road) in Mississauga. Office phone is: (416) 234 -1850 Privacy Policy, Complaints Cost is $150 for a 90 minutes session which You will find is a more satisfying and effective marital therapy experience.  You may have found that 50 minute sessions leave you in a frustrating unresolved state.  Your side wasn't heard.  The counsellor jumped to conclusions.  Nothing really got understood.   (See also marriage retreats) Couples get stuck in blaming and withdrawing, playing games of 'Being Right' and 'The Family Martyr.' then when relationships break down we may feel sad or angry, lonely and without hope.  An effective approach to solving the problems in marriage involves a focuss on the couple connection: the safe secure love relationship that nourishes the soul. Doing this will involve: 1. identifying the relationship cycle, 2. experiencing the underlying feelings and issues, 3. unwinding the unhealthy patterns and 4. allowing tender feelings and needs for closeness to be expressed and responded to. Once team work is established it is time to do creative resolving of long standing issues.  This approach renews marital bonding in 12 to 20 sessions and gains are maintained after that.    FamilyTherapy background: Six years of supervised experience in family therapy: 1. Alberta Hospital Ponoka, 2. Calgary Guidance Center, 3. Institute of Family Living West and 4. Chartwell Institute of Care and Counselling. In 1976, I began work as a family therapist with Preventive Social Services in the small town of Athabasca Alberta, 90 miles North of Edmonton. I provided direct counselling of couples and individuals including teens; developed and delivered Parenting Courses, Couple Communication Seminars,  and a youth Leadership Camp. In 1981 I worked as a Child Therapist with the west End Crèche, Toronto before establishing my private practice full time in 1983. Heal My Life (Life Transformation Therapy)- Toronto, Ontario (416) 234-1850 or 1 (877) 854-3990 E-mail
FAQ's Q.   In your experience, how does counselling help end an abusive relationship?  A.   In my observation counselling reduces abusive interaction by: bringing accountability to the relationship, resolving individual issues that are at the root of abusive behaviour, providing individual support for victims to break out of the victim mentality, encouraging healthier patterns of communication and conflict resolution, bringing some resolution to marital issues through mediation with a third party. Q.   What do you do to solve communication problems in marriages? A.   I will use some of the following: In discussion with the couple I develop an agreement about "Do's and don't" of communication, I focus on a changing behaviour right during the session - especially learning to hear what the other says and feels I identify unhealthy patterns we name the pattern so they can notice and talk about the pattern when it repeats, I will process issues having one person make a request for change and the other reflect the content and feelings, In conflicts I focus you on hearing the other's message and their feeling. Q.   How can you help us with a personality differences? A.   I will:  introduce four dimensions of personality differences and help you to locate yourself on these dimensions.  I will recommend reading to learn more about these dimensions of personality types.  I will explain the differences and how that will effect your relationship. I will make diagrams of relationship patterns which people find helpful. I will explain clearly these diagrams and talk about the application to your relationship. Q.   How can we achieve deeper levels of intimacy? A.   You may find that though counselling, by improving listening to one another; by better understanding of one another, by resolving conflicts together and by gaining emotional freedom that you will start to become more open and emotionally present to one another. This allows more satisfactory communication and more rewarding intimacy. Q.   I don't believe that my partner is the right person for me. I no longer love them. We are not suited. We have become enemies. How will professional counselling make any difference? A.    It is normal in a committed couple relationship to begin to see our partner as our enemy. "If they would change, I would be happy," we think. We are pulled to look for love and understanding elsewhere. We are at risk for adultery.         Before we get in to the promised land of faithful covenant Christian marriage we may encounter giants from our past in what we see and experience in our partner. Issues of great significance from our past do need to be resolved. This is best done with a counsellor who is familiar with healing issues of heart and spirit.        When you are empty inside it may mean that what I call "core issues" need to be dealt with. It may not all be your partner.        When we do not like to admit that we have faults or face our negtive possibilites, we tend to blame our partner. Best to take Jesus' advice and take the log out of your own eye. If the "log" is blocking your perspective, then the counselling process can be the least painful of facing it.        In every relationship there are stages to entering into real unity. Scott Peck outlines three steps before we reach unity. That means that it is normal to enter into periods of conflict and power struggle. You are each trying to be right, or set the agenda, or make the other better. Counselling will help if you are willing to face the fact that some of these behaviours are preventing you from reaching community. Sometimes our partner looks like the worse aspects of our mother or father. This is hard to love. But it is not all your partner's fault. You are more likely to feel pain from behaviour that hurts in the place of unhealed issues. Your own expectation of that this pain will occur also acts upon your partner to bring out of them the very beahviour you hate. They need to take responsibility for their behaviour but you may find that healing up your own wounded heart may help reduce this type of pain in your relationship.       It is inevitable that your partner will remind you of your childhood issues; will seem more and more like your childhood abuser. Guaranteed. Your perceptions, beliefs, feelings and reactions toward your partner are being powerfully shaped by your unresolved childhood issues. You will experience again what you experienced before - until you overcome the enemy within. To it does not all depend on your partner. You can help your marriage by seeking healing for the issues of your heart.       Your partner is in the same process of seeing their worse fears, deepest hurts and unresolved issues being fulfilled in you. Their perception of you, understanding of you, feelings toward you will be deeply and fundamentally based on past experience until "past experience" is dealt with. Professionals who use prayer therapy inner healing will help in this process.

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